May 5, 2009

Summer CPH is the new Black

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. I fucking hate moving, yet I do it every time, thinking “this time will be different”. I have moved four times in the last year. Some might call it a hobby/semi professional past-time.  Anyway, I digress. I moved again.

Its a money pad, right in the center of Copenhagen, 80 M2, nice old building (meaning crappy isolation and crooked floors), great location. And, this is going to be the last time I move in Denmark, I promise (force majeur excluded, of course).

Also, I got the sister out from Holland. She lives here now!

Anyway, just a quick update; I have holidays planned to Holland (June), Berlin (May), Aruba (August) and Vegas (August) and I just came back from Barcelona and Stutttgart.  Also, I’ve gotten fat and am in serious need of some adventure, so if anyone feels like going on adventure holiday… feel free to let me know.

Writing down all these holidays it almost seems I want to get away from copenhagen ;)   but in all seriousness I am actually having a blast! Summer CPH is the best; sitting in the park, going out, outdoor sports, lots of visitors.. If you haven’t been be sure to come on over this summer.

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December 14, 2008

To think I did all that; And may I say – not in a shy way

It’s been a year already people. How fast it has gone, from washing dishes in crappy old peoples’ homes to working in the most capatalistic company in Scandanavia. From a sense of wonder about the funny people called the Danish, to not being surprised about having to split the supermarket bill after a home dinner.

In the past year I have been to Sweden, Iceland, Germany, England, America, Belgium, France, Spain, Poland, Hungary and Holland. From revolutionizing the tacky tourist picture movement to  insulting dirty hippies and giving back to the world I have a lot to look back on. I have a lot to be thankful about also, most off all my decision to leave the motherland and trade security for adventure. However, whereas before I felt like a tourist, I can now unequivocally state Copenhagen is my home. I know the city…which, when I think about it,  makes it about time to leave.

Gwyneth Paltrow's Acceptance Speech

Gwyneth Paltrow's Acceptance Speech

Taking a page from Gwyneth Paltrows’ Oscar acceptance speech, I want to take this opportunity to say thanks to all the wonderful people in my life, to my family and friends in Holland for putting up with my constant absence, to my colleagues for making every day fun,  to women for making life bearable, to the makers of Tanqueray for making a wonderful drink and to you for reading my blog. Much appreciated.

It’s been an adventure so far, and the best is yet to come. And, speaking of the Frank and the past year; I can’t help but polish my narcissism quoting Him once more:

To think I did all that, And may I say, not in a shy way, Oh no, oh no not me, I did it my way.

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October 5, 2008

They don’t fuck you on the drinks over there.

I always say a 22 hour plane ride isn’t so bad when you get free booze. I mean, it freaked my out at first, because, what am I going to do with myself?

But then I realized that the journey is the destination, and settled in. I was away on my Grand and Awesome Adventure and there was fun to be had.

I landed in the San Fransico. A great city by any standard, its old but cozy city center reminded me of Europe. We ended up staying in the San Fran for a while, insulted some hippies, did some tacky tourist pictures and brought general madness and mayhem.

Going down south we stayed in San Luis de Obispo, and decided it was time for some whale watching. Now, it was out of season but the friendly yet stern man at the desk assured us that if we took a fishing trip we would see a couple of whales anyway. So after giving the poor man a third degree on what kind of drinks they had on board, we gave it our blessing.

We got a couple of hours sleep before boarding at 5.30 in the morning (at this point we were wondering why we had asked the man about drinks onboard) . Seeing as we wanted to see whales and nobody particulary cared about fishing we had decided to buy watcher tickets (which means we couldn’t fish). Now, kids, you have to remember that a 4 hour boat trip is only fun if you actually get to do anything, otherwise its just being hung over on a very rocky surface.

As always we made the best of it and turned the darn thing into a Booze Cruise. Meanwhile we were annoying everyone on board who was there to a. spend quality time with father/son b. be stupid Americans for believing the official language of Holland is English and everyone lives in a windmill and c. being little people and actually enjoying the fishing. This could not stand.

After the Booze Cruise we went to the Vegas. Now, I dont understand why anyone would care to go to Europe after having gone to the Vegas. There is the Eiffel Tower, Champs Élysées, The Venetian (which is like staying in Venice!) and the Ceasars (which was JUST LIKE ROME). Best of all they had 24 hour buffets, awesomme clubbing, great and cheap hotels and plentiful talented young ladies.

So after loosing all my money and getting married, twice, we decided it was time for The Grand Canyon for some back-to-nature action. After sleeping in the car because someone assured me that there were still rooms available (thanks James) I wanted to stretch my leggs a little. We did a small 37 mile hike (I’m just trowing a number out there, who the fuck knows what a mile is anyway :) ) and took some more Tacky Tourist pictures.

By that time a small panic set in because I had left my BlackBerry in the Vegas (I swear I DIDN’T bring it to a pawn shop) and we unfortunately had to go back there. Staying one more night was the best decision I ever made. I’m telling you people, if you are ever in Vegas, stay at the Palms. The Palms is backed by MTV and has great clubbing as well as some of the best rooms in town. Im talking clubs on the 37th floor overlooking the whole of Vegas, great music and awesomme food.

Looking back on this whole ordeal my learnings were threefold:

1. If you like clubs you go to the Vegas (and if you like loosing all your money, or getting married, twice, too). 2. If you like Hippies you go to the San Fran & 3. If you like drinking, you go to the States. Because, boy, they don’t fuck you on the drinks over there.

~Bart

—->pictures coming soon

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August 5, 2008

Bart-O-Rama

So usually I just stick to my travel adventures but I wanted to give you all a quick update on..well.. me. That’s right, some quality time with your favorite blogger.

I still work at Saxo Bank where I do online marketing for a big partner. Business has been good and I’m feeling at home at the bank more and more. You might have seen our sponsorship of the Tour de France (which our team won) and with which my department and others have been quite busy with.

My hippie-esk place in Frederiksberg is still there but I will be moving into my colleague’s place soon. This apartment is in Hellerup which is like 10 mins away from my work. That means more sleeping but it’s going to cut into my reading time. Seeing as the Dirty – Hippie shack was only for 5 months and Olof just married his girlfriend (well not really, just moving in together) I’m really happy it turned out like this.

People have been asking me, ‘Bart, why do you work so much and don’t take holidays?’ and I say to them ‘I wish I had time to go…I wish.’ (ok not really). Well, this time its final: I’m visiting my American friend for two weeks from the 6th of September and flying to San Francisco, the gay capital of the world. We are doing a road trip.

How have you all been doing? Any big news or small gossip? Please comment!

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July 20, 2008

Things to do in Copenhagen when you’re dead

So I had a course in London and me and my colleague thought it would be fun to go clubbing the night before. So what do you do when your in a foreign city and you don’t know your way around? You ask a stranger where to go.

We end up in this dark underground hip-hop club and, after paying the equivilant to a months wages in Zimbabwe to get in, get to work. After bustin’ some moves this scantily clad lady comes up to me and speaks the words “you guys are very brave”. I take another look around and see everyone staring at us. Lets just say that with our office uniforms and northern tan we didn’t really fit in.

We kick it oldschool for a couple hours more and stumbled back to our hotel. A sudden shiver worked it’s way up my spine as I realized I had to be at this course in 3 hours and had no idea where to go. After some hardcore google’ing we find out its like 5 minutes away from our hotel and I take a well deserved powernap before waking up to the sound of my crackberry.

I go down to get some breakfast (runny scrambled eggs baby!), chill for a little bit and decide to call my roommate who is now 40 minutes late. He picks up the phone and proceeds to murmer that “it’s London time you idiot” and hangs up the phone. Nice.

So after a non-eventfull couple of days I got home. I get a call from my american friend James. His Polish-American connection Brian was in the CPH and he asked me to put him up for a couple of days. It was weekend again and Brian and I decided it was time for some decadency. We did it rockstar style and showed up at 21.30 in a rikshaw to eat at this michelin star restaurant. We had the most money meal I ever had, after which we went to two of the coolest places in Copenhagen; Ruby’s cocktail bar and Nasa nightclub.

The next day we go to this houseparty, made some new friends and had this Taxi driver scream at me for ‘not having a drivers licence because I might need it when the war breaks out’.

Truly, things to do in Copenhagen when you’re dead.

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May 20, 2008

Bromance in The Berlin

So me and the bro’s always make ‘plans’ to go away for long weekends, meaning someone would say ‘city X is awesome’ and the rest says ‘lets go.’

A couple of weeks later someone then writes an email with some suggestions, everyone says ok and then completely ignores all the follow-up emails expecting the initial email -writer to take care of everything.

A week before arrival we book a flight and show up completely unprepared (Hell, this time I didnt even bring a phone number of the guys (I got a new phone), I was lucky someone texted me or I would have had to wonder the streets in despair).

It is then time for complaining.

It seemed that Joel had booked us a working mans’ villa in an area that was mostly inhabited by the ‘little people’. To make things worse it was an hour and a half away from the city in the chaos that is Berlins’ public transport. Nice.

Even though we all had a chance to weigh in on the matter of accommodation It was obviously Joels fault for not arranging things too our standard when he has been trusted with such an important task. And while we were complaining most of the trip, our accomplishments were twofold:

1. We revolutionized the world of tourist picture taking

Have you seen those boring and static pictures in front of equally boring tourist attractions? Well, no more. A revolution in tourist-picture-taking called ‘Jumping Pictures’ is sweeping the globe, and you too can be part of it! This is how it works:

When the Photo Taker (A) is about ready to impress a photo on the ‘Photo Device’ the Photo Subjects (B) tighten their leg muscles. When ‘A’ signals the all-clear, ‘B’ release their leg muscle and trust themselves in an upward vertical motion. ‘A’ then presses a button on the ‘Photo Device’ after which a ‘Jumping Picture’ has been made resulting in glorious pictures as can be seen below.

jumping pictures in berlin

Jumpin’ it In front of Checkpoint Charlie.

2. We rocked happy hour like it has never been rocked before

Because of the ‘housing-situation’ we had decided to only leave the house once a day. We go out to the city in the morning and come back the next. Since you can only take jumping pictures for so long there had to be a fair amount of drinking.

Think of Happy hour. An upscale sushi & cocktail bar at 6. Five guys. 2 hours. A table full of cocktails & sushi and a bill that could support a small African nation. It was awesome and a real bro’s weekend.

Cause True Bromance Never Dies,

Bart - “Blog-Rockin-Beats since ‘00″

PS. I’m happy to report that me and the Swede found a new apartment! Everyone is welcome! It’s very near to Frederiksberg Center, very roomy and in a great area and building. It’s only for five months though so we are on the lookout for a new one (tips anyone?).  Also, I’m coming to Holland the 29th of May, hit me up on +4531667820 for an opportunity to meet the kid. First come, first serve ;) .

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April 13, 2008

A Glorious Map Of 7-Elevens In Copenhagen

Like I wrote before we are huge fans of the 7-Eleven. It is simply the greatest store on earth and I’m still positive that the world will recognize this by using the phrase:

“The 7-Eleven of …” to indicate greatness.

Since we have become regulars of the sevy (its an endearing nickname) I have become a 7-Eleven VIP customer (VIP pass included) and have discovered that sevy’s are so popular in Sweden they need a doorman to keep the customers from trampling the place.

7-Eleven VIP Club

Now, as a tribute to greatness and glory we are mapping all the Sevy’s we have visited. Without further ado, I give you: The Map.

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March 20, 2008

All work and no play. (Well, not really)

My lifelong wish of going to a Danish opera came true.

It was Hitlers favorite opera, The Merry Widow or Den Glade Enke in danish. Of course I didn’t understand shit, but it was nice non the less. Not in the least because of the venue; the Copenhagen Opera House is the most expensive opera house ever built and sits beautifully on the docks of Copenhagen.

There is something to be said about Danish Culture. Beautiful architecture, the happiest people on earth, great food & nightlife and lets not forget…the highest percentage of people with one night stands. It is a great country. Where else do you get a 5 day easter holiday and free health care (Sweden??) ?

Speaking about The Sweden, I just went down to Malmo. This is the city people say about “the only good thing about Malmo is that it’s close to Copenhagen”. You can imagine I was pretty excited to go there. Turns out these people are ever so slightly wrong. Yes, it’s not that exciting. No, there isn’t much to do. But hey, if a city has a tunnel museum, a antique boot museum (real scale boats baby!) it is good in my book. Seriously though; the city is worth a trip from Copenhagen if only for it’s great architecture.

Thinking about all the stuff I have done lately I have to say, it doesn’t feel like I’ve been working 10 hour days. I guess a little creativity with time and dedication to partying can go a long way. I feel great. The new job is awesome if only for the fact that for the first time in years I’m only working with competent people (don’t get me wrong, I loved my old colleagues but they weren’t all easy to work with). Also, the company is really dedicated to giving people a nice working experience.

I guess I got really lucky. (This was an attempt to sound modest, of course it’s because I’m just that good ;) )

Until next time, keep it unreal,

The flying dutchman (damn, I wish one of these nicknames would stick)

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February 26, 2008

I Smurfed a Job, Celebrated in Amsterdam

From Amsterdam airport James and me went straight to my moms’ house. She didn’t know I was coming. As I had my friend pretend to have lost his keys it was a big surprise I was standing at her door with a nice bouquet of flowers.

After my little sister explained the reason for the smurfs’ return to Holland to James (you spend 15 euro’s and get a free smurf!!)  we were off to the Amsterdam only to leave our luggage and go party in Utrecht. Wednesday till Friday we partied in Amsterdam even stopping at club Van Gogh - there was a freakin  DJ playing at the museum - and Saturday we made it in Nijmegen.

While I normally don’t need a reason for Grand and Sensational Partying it was necessary this week. Why is that? The first of March I am starting a new job at Saxo Bank. I will be the new Online Media Coordinator, which is exactly the job I was smurfing for.

Suits everyday, a great salary, a fantastic job… I am sooo not going to miss my temp jobs.

Gifts and congratulations can be send to my home address ;)

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January 24, 2008

We must let’s go. How we took Poland one bar at a time.

Arriving in Poland was something of a interesting experience. Landing on a military airport – abandonent planes, military structures and thick fog gave it a eary look – was something out of Hollywood cold war movie.

Taking the back exit of the train station we arrived in an area that was closely reminiscent of the ghetto I grew up in (ok, not really). Asking for directions led us trough the front where the good folks of Poland had erected a huge mall. The little people must come in trough the back.

I was invited to Krakow by my American friend James and swiftly John and Olof joined me to make a party crew the PL had never seen before. Sometimes rolling with more then 30 people, we turned every bar into a private party. Kings of Krakow.

It really wasn’t as much a depressing concrete jungle as I had expected. The architecture, friendly people, studenty atmosphere and cheap drinks made it a place I will definitely visit again. When we were finished with a 7 day streak of clubbing we slept 2 hours before going to the airport. We had to use James’ German friends’ interesting English vocabulary one more time;

We must let’s go.

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